I just need to go to Europe and find my soul mate.

pijogenjo:

lokigodofbadassery:

redisdead:

enemiesandirony:

ravengoodwoman:

downtothelastbullet:

greenet:

tikaka:

clockworksexual:

iwoulddeduceyoutwice:

sugarkitteh:

bigbangpunch:

BRITISH VERSION OF THIS:

1. BOIL THE KETTLE - IF YOU HAVE TO USE A STOVE OR MICROWAVE SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR HOUSE

2. USE ANY WATER IN EXISTENCE - FUCK FILTERING THAT SHIT YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO MAKE A PROFILE YOUR SHOW IS BACK ON IN 5 MINUTES PRESS A

3. THROW WHATEVER THE HELL TEABAG YOU HAVE IN THERE - FUCK LOOSE TEA THAT IS FOR WHEN YOU ORDER TEA OUTSIDE

4. USE YOUR STIRRING TEABAG METHOD OF CHOICE, ADD SUGAR/SWEETENER LIKE A BOSS OR NOT IF YOU ARE A HEALTHY BOSS

5. GRUMBLE LIKE A FISHERMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE KETTLE AREA TO GO TO THE FRIDGE TO GET MILK AND BACK TO IT AGAIN AFTER YOU ADD IT

6. RUN BACK TO WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING, TAKE A COMFORT SIP AND THEN EITHER FINISH IT OR FORGET ABOUT IT AND MOAN ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU LET IT GO COLD

****

EDIT: IF YOU CAN’T SPOT IF NOT FROM THIS ALONE THEN THE NATURE OF MY TUMBLR THAT I’M NOT MAKING A DIG AT HER COMIC SIMPLY POINTING OUT HOW LAZY WE ARE OVER HERE WITH TEA THEN GET OFF THE INTERNET. THE COMIC COVERS ALL TEA OPTIONS. COME AT ME BRO.

THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION

JUST GET THE BLOODY BILLY ON THE FIRE AND THROW IN A FISTFUL OF TEA FOR EACH BUGGER AFTER THE WATER BOILS

TAKE OFF FIRE

WAIT UNTIL IT REACHES DESIRED STRENGTH

CAPABLE OF SUPPORTING A SPOON STOOD UPRIGHT IN IT IS IDEAL

WHACK BILLY TO ENCOURAGE SINKING OF TEA LEAVES

POUR IT OUT

ADD AS MUCH MILK AND SUGAR AS YOU LIKE OR NOT AT ALL VEGEMITE IS ACCEPTABLE

DRINK IT DOWN WHILE RIDING OFF INTO THE OUTBACK ON YOUR BIG RED KANGAROO ON A SADDLE MADE OF DROPBEAR PELTS, WITH YOUR TRUSTY BRUMBY PACKING ALONG YOUR SWAG AND A DINGO BY YOUR SIDE

CHEERS MATE

CANADIAN VERSION

WHAT IS ENGLAND DOING?

OK NOW COPY THAT SHIT AND JUST CHANGE A FEW THINGS

NO PUSSY REAL “TEAWARE”, WE HAVE NORMAL COFFEE MUGS FOR THAT SHIT.

USE WHATEVER APPLIANCE YOU WANT TO HEAT THE DAMN WATER, YEAH WE SIGNED OUR FUCKING FREEDOM. NO ONE SAID IT WAS MANDATORY FOR KETTLES!

SIT LIKE A CLASSY MAN/WOMAN AND WAIT FOR IT TO BOIL

EAT SOME BACON

THROW A TEABAG IN THERE, LOOSE TEA IS FOR MY MONARCHIST AUNT.

DUMP SO MUCH SUGAR IN IT THAT YOU GET DIABETES AND SO MUCH MILK THAT YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE AND MILK THE COW, BETSY.

TAKE A SIP.

SCALD YOURSELF AND ALMOST DROP MUG, SPILLING IT DOWN THE FRONT OF YOUR BACK IN THE PROCESS.

REALIZE TEA ISN’T TOO MUCH OF YOUR THING AND GO BACK TO COFFEE.

AMERICAN VERSION

FIND A CUP(?) (ANY CLEAN, CUP-LIKE INSTRUMENT WILL WORK)

FILL IT WITH TAP WATER

ADD FIVE SPOONFULS OF INSTANT ICED TEA POWDER

STIR THAT SHIT SO HARD YOU SPILL SOME ON THE COUNTER, LET GO OF THE SPOON SO YOU CAN WATCH IT SPIN

DRINK IT AND CHOKE BECAUSE IT’S TOO SWEET

POUR SOME INTO THE SINK AND ADD WATER IN HOPES THAT IT WILL TASTE ACCEPTABLE

REPEAT UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT

ADD ICE CUBES AND A STRAW TO ENHANCE CLASSINESS

FINNISH VERSION


FUCK THE KETTLE, JUST TAKE THE PAIL FROM THE SAUNA

IF THE WATER ISN’T BOILING, YOU’RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG

TOSS THE BIRCH VIHTA IN THE WATER AND LET IT SEEP FOR A WHILE

GET A BOTTLE OF VODKA

DRINK THE VODKA

FORGET THE “TEA” UNTIL IT COOLS DOWN

RINSE YOUR NAKED BODY WITH THE BIRCH TEA

GO ROLL IN THE SNOW AND SCREAM FOR YOUR ANCIENT GODS

NORWEGIAN VERSION

BOIL WATER IN ELECTRIC KETTLE

TAKE OUT INSTANT COFFEE

DRINK COFFEE

…WHAT DO YOU MEAN “TEA”?

SOUTHERN VERSION

GET A POT AND PUT SOME WATER AND A BUNCH OF TEA BAGS IN THAT SONOFABITCH

BOIL THAT SHIT

PUT THAT SHIT IN A PITCHER

ADD SUGAR

KEEP ADDING SUGAR

NO, YOU’RE NOT DONE YET

WHEN THE SUGAR HAS REACHED ITS SATURATION POINT AND IS NO LONGER ACTUALLY DISSOLVING IN BOILING WATER THEN YOU’RE DONE

(i am not making this up i know people who make it that way)

FILL THE REST OF THAT SHIT UP WITH WATER AND PUT THAT MOTHERFUCKER IN THE ICEBOX

ENJOY THAT SHIT WITH A NICE TASTY PLATE OF DEEP-FRIED THINGS

YES

THAT IS EXACTLY HOW MY FATHER’s MOTHER MAKES HER SWEET TEA

(How in the world do I still have teeth, geez)

REAL AMERICAN VERSION


THROW TEA IN HARBOR

Suddenly the greatest tea post, oh my word.

INDIAN VERSION

IF YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE TEA YET, THERE’S NO HOPE THAT YOU’LL EVER GET MARRIED! OH WHAT VILL THE NEIGHBOURS SAY, YOU HAVE SHAMED MY AND MY MOTHER- YOU ARE NO DAUGHTER OF MINES!

in the words of my mother. 

PREACH IT

(Source: areyoutryingtodeduceme, via but-therewasawordshaker-too)

Reblogged from areyoutryingtodeduceme

theoddmentemporium:

Puzzlewood is an ancient woodland site, near Coleford in the Forest of DeanGloucestershireEngland. The site, covering 14 acres, shows evidence of open cast iron ore mining dating from the Roman period, and possibly earlier.

In 1848 some workmen, after moving a block of stone in the woods, found a small cavity in the rocks. In this cavity, hidden away, were three earthenware jars containing over 3,000 Roman coins. No-one knows why the coins were hidden away in the cliff face nor by whom.

J. R. R. Tolkien, a frequent visitor to the Forest of Dean, may have visited Puzzlewood, and many believe Puzzlewood was the inspiration for the fabled forests of Middle-earth, such as the Old ForestMirkwoodFangorn or Lothlórien contained within The Lord of the RingsJ.K Rowling is also said to have visited Puzzlewood, and it may have been this that influenced her idea of The Forbidden Forest in the Harry Potter books.

Reblogged from theoddmentemporium
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]

sexb0mb-0mbs:

E minor is a pretty boring.

(Source: guettahater, via spaceballs-the-url)

Reblogged from guettahater

Words Used to Describe Genitals

mythalsfavor:

wtffanfiction:

So at one point someone suggested we start a list of words used in fanfiction to describe genitals. After a particularly great Twilight fic was submitted, I decided to start that list, and Im providing what the phrase is describing. It will be updated as more words and phrases are found. And feel free to submit ones you’ve heard :3

Read More

omf

O.o Really? REALLY?

Reblogged from wtffanfiction